I think I know who I am! "Who am I?": Part Two


When you befriend a chief, remember that he sits on a rope. — Ugandan proverb


Okay guys so about two blog posts ago, I spoke about my journey with ancestry and how it felt finding out about what I was. I recently found out more information from using Ancestry.com and it shocked me but also confirmed what I thought for years. For years, like I stated before, we tried to figure out how my Nana, grandma and uncle got blue eyes. I was always jealous because I wanted them too, but it skipped me apparently. Well, I finally got my answer. My great-great-great grandmother was the slave masters baby. On the census, they put that she was "M" for mulatto. When I came across this finding, I automatically called my mother and grandmother. I was so shocked but also felt relieved because we finally got ONE step closer to the truth.

So, in part one of this, I stated my genetic breakdown and what I was mixed with. So the 23% didn't solely come from my father, but a small percentage of it came from my mother's side of the family as well. We pretty much knew this though before the test was taken. I paid for an ancestry membership for about two months and like I said, I kept hitting bumps in the road so I ended up canceling it. Recently, they had a mini promotion for memberships, so I said okay why not. I gained access to census images from as early as 1900. In this process, I ended up finding out information about my grandmother's father and his family, which resulted in me finding other people, I'm presuming my distant cousins, who had my ancestors in their family tree's. This was another "OMG!" moment because I do not know too many of my family members from that side of my family, so to see that there are still a lot of us out there who don't know each other, made me eager to want to learn more.

The main part of this is that I realized that I am really the descendant of a slave master. Not just being the descendant of a slave, but of a slave master. That blew my mind. To know that someone in my family was taken advantage of and possibly forced to lay down with someone who didn't, couldn't and wouldn't be able to be seen with them in public because of the color of their skin, is mind blowing. I know that I am not the only one who has this type of story in their family lineage, but a lot of people also do not want to talk about these situations either. I want to know their stories and how it was to live through not just slavery, but living in the world as a woman who is "white passing" but still looked at as a Black woman. This is a part of history that often gets eradicated and it shouldn't. We need to have these conversations even though they may be hard to speak on, it is still important for us to know about what our ancestors have went through.

Black women and men are so strong. We are so powerful and so resilient. To go through the things we have and the things we still do, and to come out on top still is something that nobody else can tell the story of. I am remaining hopeful throughout this ancestry process and also anxious for what I may or may not find out. I hope I don't have to make a part three to this though. I'm stressed out already from finding out all of the information I did lol.


Be kind to one another. Love yourself. Love each other.

-P


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